I worked alongside Vanya like an automaton,in deep despair.When everything was put away Vanya took me back to the bedroom whereshe insisted on making me wear the dress I had on whilst serving hermeal last night, then added the uncomfortable training boots. I did notobject too much for I intended to take them off as soon as she left,along with the corset, rings and everything else. I had decided to undoall that Vanya had done to me while there was still time and challengeher when she returned. Whilst I tottered about on the incredibly highheels, learning to balance on them once more, Vanya got the wide,stainless steel waistbelt from the playroom and quickly locked itaround my corseted waist. Although I objected and tried to prevent her,Vanya snapped my wrists into the single handcuffs attached to each sideof the belt and I found she had shortened the links so that my handswere trapped on my waist."While I'm out I don't want you doing anything you shouldn't, so thatwill prevent you. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."Square TesticlesAn elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She.
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